“The Accidental Princess”, by Michelle Willingham

Bad news, everybody.

I pretty much liked this one.

The year is 1855. Lady Hannah is a poor little rich girl whose life is dictated by her controlling mother (she isn’t allowed to have desserts even). Her parents want her to marry Outwardly Perfect Rich Guy, who is actually Evil Rich Guy. He kidnaps her from a ball in order to force her to marry him, but she’s saved by a penniless soldier who had been there as the guest of her brother.

Scandal! And she’s still going to be forced to marry the jerkass. He locks her into a room, but she brains him with a candlestick and jumps out the window with the penniless guy (he was keeping an eye on her because noble).

Of course they are enflamed with passion, etc etc, but she can’t marry him. Instead of being sent back to fight, he’s sent to accompany Important Dude of Fictional Germanic Country because excuses. She happens to be sent along with them for part of the way, to get her out of the way of scandal.

So turns out Michael is maybe the prince of Fictional Germanic Country instead of the guy who has been called prince of Fictional Germanic Country! Say what! Everybody wants to kill him! Hannah says FUCK IT! and celebrates her little bit of boatly freedom by FUCKIN IT! He also gives her a whole bunch of desserts and thinks it’s awesome that she loves them. I kinda <3ed that a lot. Fuck yeah desserts!

She decides to help him figure things out and pretends to be his wife while they travel to Fictional Germanic Country.

He is the prince of course, so that’s all nice and good. But Hannah is kidnapped! Evil Rich Lady Who Was Former Mistress To King Sweyn (Sweeeeeeeyyyyyyn) is like OH NO YOU DON’T SUCKAH! because dammit her son should be on the throne. This doesn’t make the most sense ever, since I don’t see how that has much benefit to her as she has lived in England for 20 years and her son doesn’t know she’s his mom or anything, BUT we are informed that She Be Crazy. So okay.

Anyhoo, Hannah says FUCK IT! and removes her boatload o’ petticoats in order to jump out of a moving carriage then run through woods. And the Faux Prince is not a bad guy so he goes and helps save Hannah. Michael kinda shows up eventually and he doesn’t get his new soldiers shot so that’s nice.

Ummmmm so they finally decide that they must get married because lurve and they do. Faux Prince stops one last plot against Legit Prince, just because.

That’s about the gist of it. The plot is not the least silly thing, but it does have an actual plot which is more than I can say about the other ones I’ve read so far…

I actually really enjoyed the characters! Michael and Hannah are pretty great! Hannah even alllllllllllmost touches her lady parts while thinking about his hotness, which I have decided is my fondest desire for a romance book. I suppose masturbation isn’t romance, but I would think it nice to include!

The sex is basic, of course, but it’s all about her and her pleasure so that’s nice too. It’s not perfect, it’s still a little heavy on PIV, but how can one avoid the Wang All-Mighty? Queer romance, maybe.

But they are both nice people who are of modern sensibilities without it being really anachronistic. So I rooted for those crazy kids, I did. AND HE WASN’T A GROSS CREEPFEST! It was pretty much all consent and respect, all the time! W00t!

Grade: H for huh, clearly I need to get some books that involve Vikings

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